livin' life and seeing the world

The shows are out and the results are in...

2009-10-24T21:17:00.000-07:00

There are some amazing television shows in the fall line up this year, here's what i'm into:

30 Rock
House
Lie to me
Flash forward
The office
Glee
Gossip Girl (no judging)

If you haven't already gotten hooked, you should.

You might have had to be there...

2009-02-14T10:11:00.000-08:00

Me: (having just woke up on my friend Audrey's couch) "Ugh, I have dog hair all over me. I feel so gross"

Toby: (one of Audrey's many roommates) "You look hot!"

Me: look of disgust

Toby: "It's like redneck glitter"

me: look of shock mixed with amusement

Jenn: Hysterical laughter

Me a week later: hehehehehehhe

Being sick makes me wish I had cable...

2009-02-13T08:52:00.000-08:00

Not only do I have to feel and look disgusting but I'm bored. There should be a sick day suggestion website, things that don't take a lot of effort but will occupy the sick and weary.

where the earth touches the sky

2008-09-13T07:26:00.000-07:00

Every morning I walked the pasture and up the hill to be closer to you, in hopes that perhaps the quiet beauty of the hilltop would bring crisp clarity to your voice... That I may hear the deepest desires of your heart for my life. It is there, waiting in stillness, I felt each breath, heard the beating in my chest, and I came alive again.

Just a little something i wrote.

2008-07-12T19:43:00.000-07:00

Things that used to consume my time and heart no longer have space
for I am full and running over with love for you
My own strength fails me and the walls I built crumble
I stand exposed and vulnerable
Unarmed, fear creeps along my skin and my heart trembles
logic takes over, I want to run but i am heavy with emotion
Feeling defeated
it is now me
as I am
in brokenness
standing in fear, longing to be protected and taken truely as I am
needing you

The Office in which I spend most of my time

2008-07-11T12:17:00.000-07:00

I am reading this book about office life; it’s a bit like the ever so popular Office Space or the Office television show. There is no real purpose for me to read this book and I’m sure I could find more productive and fulfilling things to do with my time, but sometimes you just need an easy read, right? As mindless as the book is I began to notice it had heightened my awareness of the sheer ridiculousness of office shenanigans. For example, at my office/city, which will remain anonymous, we have a fountain…this said fountain causes hours of meaningless conversation and prohibits productivity by 25%-at the very least. See, the said fountain has flowing issues and you would not believe how many people at my office are experts in fountain building. At any given moment of the day you can find groups of employees huddled around the windows in our break room debating how it was done all wrong, had they just made the wall a little deeper, the sides a little taller, or the water pressure harder. Needless to say I had no problem participating in these conversations until I read the book, now…I see how ridiculous it is. Also, we have a “cool kids” parking lot which is slightly farther and to the left of the front door, we know who we are and we all park there. I once even caught myself glaring at a VP when he unknowingly parked in the wrong lot-the nerve. Oh and then there was the case of the missing coffee, I can’t explain how many hours were spent making accusations, whispering about new suspects, and then finally cracking the case. It was one of the sweet admins…I found out it was her when I saw her unloading all the yummy Starbucks she had just purchased to pitch in. And…Mickey, the office mouse you would have freakin’ thought there was a tyrannosaurs invading cubeland. Anywho; saying all that to say that the work environment is like none other, what may be super cool, interesting, or important at work is totally not in the real world. Corporate Americans beware we are ridiculous.

sen.si.tive |ˈsensitiv|

2008-06-30T20:04:00.000-07:00

Sensitive; to be easily offended or upset. This is my newest critique from my ever so cool and euro boss, the same guy who also tells me that people in the office don't like me, that I have bad meeting faces, and my all time favorite...I have no sense of humor. The sensitive comment is by far the most accurate but I wonder just how accurate considering his other accusations. I in fact should have realized that he may have something with this last one when I had to call my most honest friend to ask her if she thought I was. If I had to call...I think it's a safe bet that this may be something I need to work on. The thing is I like that I am sensitive, this sensitivity gets even stronger when I see others hurting. My sensitivity prompts action, comforting, volunteering, apologies. I want to stay sensitive in the good way and not be in the bad way. I can use so serious prayer with this one if you have any spare time.

Lord, thank you for creating me with the good type of sensitivity and for the desire and ability to recognize pain or sadness in others but please help me to be less sensitive to others judgement of me, help me to seek how YOU see me. Develop in me a strong, serving, and forgiving heart.

Promax update

2008-06-25T19:56:00.001-07:00

I promised a Promax update, but now I don't feel like it. So there. Life's not fair (see below example.)

Question of the day

2008-06-25T19:36:00.000-07:00

Why is it than when I look and feel great I go to the grocery store, shop around and get home without seeing anyone I know or knew, but when I look like someone has repeatedly hit me over the head with a baseball bat for two days I run into freakin' everyone I went to high school with? Ok maybe not everyone...it was a slight exaggeration for dramatic effect. It's not fair I tell you, I look presentable 80% of the time so it ticks me off that, that 20% of the time I run into guys I wish knew I was alive in school but now seeing them with my baseball bat hitting hair and teen face breakout, I wish I wasn't alive. Go figure.

Promax-rockin' my face off!

2008-06-18T19:37:00.000-07:00

This week I am attending Promaxbda, one of the largest television marketing and creative conference in the world. The line up of speakers includes some of the most influential leaders in the industry like Michael Benson (ABC MKT EVP), Joe Early (Fox) Rick Haskins (CW), John Miller (NBC), George Schweitzer (CBS), Ken Robinson, James Lipton, and the great Lee Hunt. Although you may not recognize any of these names these are the people that have been influencing and entertaining you for years. Genius I tell you! One of the many things I have learned this week is that surrounding yourself by creative and motivated individuals breads creativity and motivation. It is absolutely invaluable to attend conferences, read articles, and be mentored by those that have more experience than you. The past few days have fired me up and made me want to be, do, risk more in my job and in my life. I always thought that there were creative people and then people like me who know creative people...but now i realize that we are all born with the ability to be creative and innovative we just can't let the world suck it out of us. Promax, so far, rocks my face off.

More about the conference to come...

Oh, and I forgot to mention that I had an amazing NY pizza lunch with Cory, Carrie, and Josh, saw Rick Flare (who acted a bit drunk), AND watched a Jordan Sparks impromptu concert in times square. Overall, not a bad day.

I heart NYC

2008-06-17T21:19:00.000-07:00

So I made it to NYC, delayed thanks to US Airways. I was a bit perturbed at first but the guy I sat next to had waited all day to get on a flight, his last name was King, I don't usually remember names but he kinda looked like George Bush who...we all know is the president and presidents are sorta like kings. Not really but my brain works in strange patterns. I am staying at the Night hotel (super trendy and goth) which is a 1/2 a block from Times Square, pretty cool eh? I love this city. Although it's a bit busy for my taste the parks are incredible and I can think of nothing better than a coffee, good book and the park. Next time you are in the Big Apple skip the tourist traps and head to the park (I suggest Bryant or Central) and enjoy the people watching.

Shhhhhh!

2008-06-14T06:31:00.000-07:00

I can't read! Not literally, I CAN read I am just having a hard time of it as of late. I used to love to sit down with coffee and dive into a good book for hours, but now I can barely get through one page without thinking of a million other things I need to be doing. Am I falling prey to todays lifestyle of not being able to stay still? Sadly, I would have to day that I am. Another struggle I have had in the past couple of weeks is feeling like I can't hear the Lord, coincidence...I think not. If I can't sit still and be quiet to read than it's no wonder that I can't hear the Lord. How can one be still when this world, and my brain, are so noisy? How do you shhhh your thoughts? I have come to the conclusion, that like most everything, being still and quiet is a decision. One has to make the decision to shut off the world and be ready to receive the heavenly. It's hard, but when I think back about those times that I enjoyed a leisurely morning with coffee and a good book it gets me even more excited about the sweet moments I spend still in the presence of the Lord. Sweet Jesus please help me to be still in the midst of this noisy world.

Through the rain

2008-06-11T18:25:00.000-07:00

I saw a rainbow this evening. I was tired and it was rainy and I didn't want to go for a walk. But I did and there it was hangin' around somewhere between sunshine and yuck.
Sometimes... you just gotta walk in the rain.

ps I didn't get a picture but this picture looks pretty darn close to the one I saw.

I got the bug

2008-06-11T12:20:00.000-07:00

In an attempt to figure out a friends birthday I got totally distracted with get this...travel. I know it's hard to believe. Actually not travel itself but more like the time I spend not at home. I calculated that in 4 months I was away 51 days. What the heck! The very sad fact is that 5 minutes before I started the birthday search I was thinking that I really need to get away. I am sick in the head.

And so they move...

2008-06-10T21:11:00.000-07:00

Lately I have been having a bout of intense dreams. As much as I love change, I realized that I only like it when I am the one changing. Over the past couple of months I have been bracing myself for the departure of a few of my close friends. This change...in essence, is an amazing opportunity for the ones I love but to me, however strong I pretend to be, it seem like rejection, loss and abandonment. I had no idea that my heart would hurt so badly to see them go, especially since I am used to my friends being more miles away than my threshold for driving will take me. The dreams came so innocently at first only to burst into intensity as the nights went on. Alone, calling without answer, packing my belongings only to be to late and left behind. Today, I see...I am moving on too, that their change has provoked change in me. In my uncomfortable state I become more dependent on the Lord. New relationships and opportunities are uncovered to a mind once stunted of its growth by comfort. And so they move...and the Lord moves within me.

Reasons why you should visit Victoria, Australia...

2008-04-06T18:10:00.000-07:00

Melbourne

They have the most amazing paved walking/bike trail all around the city and it runs along the Yarra river it's called the heritage trail- a great way to see the sites and get some exercise.
Melbourne parks are spectacular and free (watch out for bats they are freakin everywhere!)
The docklands is a great place to grab a bite and at night there are fire torches that go off every half hour (during the day I saw Nicholas Cage filming an action movie ohhhh!)
St Kilda is a great beach to hangout and grab an espresso and watch the sunset. The scene is perfect with it's wooden beach chairs and cafes right on the sand.
Sports, of any kind, are a BIG deal to Australians so if there is a game at the Telstra Dome you should not pass up the experience. It's a tour-de-force in stadium design, featuring a magnificent retractable roof and computer managed turf and in the first 15 min of the St. Kilda game I witnessed a full blown streaking by one of the players-highlight of the game for me :)

Day Trips from the city

Yarra Valley wine country is a spectacular region of rolling hills and beautifully managed vineyards. The tours are inexpensive and they allow you to bring a picnic to enjoy on the property.
Phillip Island Penguin parade was by far one of the coolest things I have ever seen- make sure to soak it in because they don't allow any photographs to be taken of the cute little fairy penguins.
Rent a car, better yet a jeep, and drive the Great Ocean Road it will be the best roadtrip you've ever taken.
Twelve Apostles 20 million year old limestone formations right off the coast. The best way to take in the magnitude of these ionic formations is to hire a small prop plane. The splurge is totally worth it!
Otway Fly Treetop Walk in the rainforest gives you a Birdseye view of the inner workings on the Australian rainforest make sure to stop and take in the sounds... that way you can critique every sound machine in Brookstone when you return. www.otwayfly.com
Triplet Falls is one of the most spectacular waterfalls in the Great Otway Park and offers a stunning one hour loop walk through ancient rainforest. It's a bit of a hike to get there and the view is well worth the hard work.

Go, see, experience Australia...who cares if it takes two days to get there. :)

Londonsick

2008-02-13T12:36:00.000-08:00

This picture makes me happy. If you ride the London Eye this is what you get to see-it's amazing!

I will never win an Emmy...

2008-02-06T08:40:00.000-08:00

For years, perhaps my entire existence, I have been struggling with my lack of a tangible talent. It seems that everyone around me is drowning in it… writers, directors, actors, designers, photographers, and musicians. To be honest, I am very jealous, I wish it was me and that I had something to offer, volunteer, and serve with. Last night at Charlotte One Dave Edwards spoke about the “Giant” that keeps us from living in Gods will for our lives, that giant being comparison. It was then that I realized that I have been living my life comparing, who and what I am, to those around me all the while feeling like I would never measure up or that because I don’t have a tangible talent I couldn’t and wasn’t being used by the Lord. Basically, I have not trusted the Lords ability to work through me. I am, in essence, who the Lord wants me to be and I have talents that fit into what the Lord has created me for. I have my own special destiny and I am equipped accordingly and there is no need to let the “Giant” keep me from who I am uniquely created to be. There is a immense peace and joy that flows from this place.

Mon ami Kelly

2008-01-29T10:15:00.000-08:00

There are about a million things things I love about mon ami Kelly, so I have narrowed it down to 10.

10) She doesn't care about hygiene (which I think is funny until I have to share a tent with her...)

9) Super creative. Everyday she amazes me with something she has designed or captured with her camera.

8) Will walk with me anytime (5:00am) at any temperature (zero below) for however long (30 miles) oh, also wearing the same thing she walked 10 miles in yesterday see # 10.

7) Does what she says she is going to do.

6) Always up for adventure.

5) Travel? Her answer 10 out of 10 times is yes.

4) She is the busiest person I know but she makes time for everyone.

3) Amazing at bringing people together and making sure everyone is having a good time.

2) Serves and cares for others with abundance and a smile

1) Loves the Lord

#1 encore) She is an incredible friend that I can laugh, cry, yell, and grow with. I heart her big time!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KELLY!

Motivation

2008-01-25T11:35:00.000-08:00

We are a restless generation. There is a deep longing and desire to do more, serve more, love more, and act more. We talk A LOT about how things need to be different, but are we really acting on our convictions?
I will be the first to admit that I let this world and all the responsibilities/ideals of it take over and I'm left (just to name a few) saying things like "it would be really irresponsible to leave this great job and serve in Africa" or "I am so busy just trying to get by, it would be impossible to organize a fundraiser, volunteer, give money." etc...
I want change and I want to get excited about it, but as the world diSINtegrates before my eyes how do I get motivated. I read a devotion (by the infamous John Roos) behind motivation "For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may be recompensed for his deeds in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad." - 2 Corinthians 5:10 (NASB) Free your life from anything that distracts you. Don't be deceived but seek first His kingdom and His righteousness. Lay aside every other goal that you might be driven to please and serve Him. Remember that His rewards are not temporary. He will reward you now, and in eternity.

Whoa! His reward is not temporary...how amazing is that? All this time I spend trying to be rewarded (i.e things, promotions, affirmation) from this world are temporary. What my focus needs to be is doing the Lords will and seeking His pleasure because that is what will remain for eternity!

Lord please free my life from anything that distracts me, and help me to seek your righteousness and reward.

Check out some people who are making a difference under the Get Involved header on the right hand side of the blog.

if only i ask...

2008-01-22T20:19:00.000-08:00

Never ending is his love and care for me. The moment I felt like our distance had become too great the Holy Spirit moves and all that I can do is fall on my face and worship with all that I am.

Lord, thank you!

A bit of a rant...

2008-01-22T09:39:00.000-08:00

OK, this is NOT going to be pretty, so for those of you who think I have it all together or that I am strong and that I run through wildflower fields and dance on rainbows all day, be prepared. I am SO flawed and such a mess! I don't know if anyone else ever feels this way but most of the time it's like I'm floating above myself watching daily acts of stupidity and monotony. Floaty self yelling "MOVE ON , GO, STOP, GET A LIFE!!!" Why don't I listen? How tragic. Like no one else has had their heart broken or felt like their job was going to put them into an insane asylum, or that there friends don't get them. I mean... I understand faith, hope, love, and joy because I know the Lord. I also trust that the Lord has the best possible plan for my life, one that I may not understand or agree with at the moment-but He really knows best . However (the BIG however) it doesn't always make the struggle any more tolerable. Today I feel weak, alone, sad and frustrated with my life. It happens, right?

Just last week I felt wrapped up and loved in the Lords arms and this week I couldn't feel more distant. How does one maintain? Anyone who would like to pray for my sanity it would be much appreciated. I want, once again, to desire and crave God more than anything and to carry peace as Jesus did in the craziness of his life here on earth. I want to be different. Hate sin. live with patience. Exude love.

Good Movie

2008-01-20T17:49:00.000-08:00

If you get the chance to watch a movie anytime soon, watch Once. Great movie even better soundtrack.

I love Fridays!

2008-01-18T09:45:00.000-08:00

"I am no damsel in distress, I need a cowboy, so cowboy-up!"

-The wise words of Lindsay Fisher, one of my favorite people in the world, in response to a conversation about being "intimidating women."

Ha! I love it!

Charlotte One

2008-01-16T07:08:00.000-08:00

Need intellect?

You should come checkout Voddie Baucham at Charlotte One. For more information visit http://www.charlotteone.org/index.php

I mean...Thinnovative? Apple=Marketing genius

2008-01-15T15:07:00.000-08:00

What is a girl to do??? I can't decide which Mac to get. I can stay the conservative route and get the Macbook which has everything I need and is a much better price OR I can freakin get the sweetest laptop out there. And I thought things were complicated yesterday when I was trying to figure out whether I wanted a burrito or taco salad at Moe's...

Officially ridiculous

2008-01-15T09:45:00.000-08:00

A little fact about me...for almost 10 years I though I was allergic to mango's because one day my best friend in high school had a reaction where his lips blew up to a crazy size. How I got it in my head that I was allergic because of his reaction I have no idea. I am officially ridiculous.

Other weird facts about me...

I hate walking over grates on sidewalks-I am afraid I will be the one person who plummets to their death in this way.
I read magazines back to front
Water with no ice actually tastes better to me (yes...I know it's the same)
I am afraid to sing in my own house, I can hear my neighbor snore at night and that means he can hear me sing.
Red wine gives me hives but I drink it anyways
I always get a ToGo box but never eat the food I bring home

Pain is good

2008-01-14T14:14:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I participated in what I believe to be the most grueling, physically challenging, and rewarding sport ever created. Volleyball. I seriously LOVE this sport, slamming your body into the floor, letting the ball crash into your forearms, running head on into the wall to keep the play going, I mean…what’s not to love eh? Then tragedy hit…I woke up this morning. I literally could not lift my arms to dry my hair I was in so much pain. Just to take this a little further for you to understand the extent of the agony, when I tried to sit up in bed my abs gave out and I remained laying there on my back wondering if someone had been punching me in the stomach all night as I slept. This got me thinking about how I always, in one way or another, seem to be in pain whether it be from exercise, relationships, or just the stuff life throws at me. What I know to be true in the type of pain I was feeling this morning is that because of the suffering I am enduring the next time I play I will be stronger and play a better game. The same thing goes for the life and relationship struggles, it hurts but I will be better because of it. This, I know, is not rocket science and is about as basic as lessons get but I often forget about the stronger part of the story because I am engrossed in the pain part. As the Lord works in my life it’s going to be difficult and very painful-change and growth hurt. My prayer is that we all can learn to rejoice in our sufferings because if we were not experiencing growing pains that means we aren’t growing, and if we aren't growing we are dying. Rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. Romans 5:2-4 (NIV) We all have hope in Christ Jesus. Praise the Lord for sore muscles!

a little something different

2008-01-10T06:06:00.000-08:00

Checkout this rad CD Spin. I can't stop listening to the song "where can I go," it's amazing! You can get a little sample on http://www.myspace.com/suzywillsyaraei

I warn you it is definitely different but different is good, eh...

2008-01-08T10:30:00.001-08:00

Ephesians 4:29:

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
Just think what would happen if we all put this verse into practice...it would literally change the world. I didn't think I was going to make a New Years resolution but this verse is a beautiful challenge and opportunity to speak life over others.

Am I running?

2008-01-01T06:30:00.000-08:00

Someone, whom I love and respect, once told me that those who travel are running from something. I thought about this for days, being a travel junkie, I had never thought of why I felt the need to go. Was I running? I have been blessed with the opportunity to talk politics in a family wine cellar in Switzerland, dance all night in the Vienna underground, sail the Greek islands, watch fairy penguins march in Australia, eat more pasta than should be humanly possible in Italy, and stood in awe as the fall fireworks filled the sky over Charles bridge in Prague. So many sunrises, sunsets, and experiences all of which I will never forget. Once back from memory la la land my answer finally came…at first, yes. I was running from expectations, relationships, love, God, my call. So many of us are running or hiding from our true calling or fear of failure in that calling. For some its travel others it’s staying in a job you know is not right or perhaps it’s busying yourself working, volunteering, or over-planning your own life so that you can avoid Gods plan. Are we afraid that the Lord will give us something horrible to do or is it we are afraid of how great our calling could be?

If you know the Lord at all you know that he will meet you wherever you are-and for me, it was where I always was…on a trip. God started using the time that I was away, out of my daily routine to heal me. Through sunsets, mountaintops, and the amazing people I encountered in my travels he slowly and methodically knocked down the walls, repaired the hurt, and introduced me to a new relationship with him. It was there, at the height of adventure that I got a glimpse of his face and will never be able to turn back.

I know that life will have its ups and downs and faith will prove difficult (and it already has) but I am excited. All that I have experienced in my travels has prepared me for the adventure that is having a relationship with the Lord. I am ready for a life that is crazy, unpredictable, and dangerous- a life that I feel, as Christians, we were designed to live. I am a child of God and I should follow him with reckless abandonment and childlike faith. Although God will use your time "running" to teach and strech you, we need to be willing and ready to give up the plans we have for our lives and take up the will and adventure that God has. Saying all that to say my life is not my own and the only running I'm doing is towards the Lords plan for my life, wherever that may take me...

Matthew 10:39 Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.